Finding Love?
by TooManyDamnFangirls
Summary: Sirius Black, yes, the famous Sirius Black, finds himself in love with his best wolf friend since a while. Finally, his feelings take over his brains and he confesses his love in quite a strange way... SB/RL. Slash. Rated T...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **How much I may want to be the inventor of this great series of books, Harry Potter and all the other characters don't belong to me. I'm just a pathetic fan girl who likes to let them do the stuff I want them to do. For the rest, I'm pretty sure I've got nothing to do with them. Boohoo.

**Warnings: **SB/RL. Slash. Boy/boy. If you don't like it, then please don't read it, otherwise I'll cry when you leave disgusted reviews.

**A/N:**My first fic I post on this site… I hope you won't be too hard on me, because actually I'm Belgian… Yeah, now you know that, you may run away and leave this story for what it is. But, if you don't run away, then please read and review!

**Summary: **Sirius Black, yes, _the_ famous Sirius Black, finds himself in love with his best wolf friend for a while. Finally, his feelings take over his brains and he confesses his love in a quite strange way... SB/RL. Slash. Rated T...

'You can do this, Paddy!'

'I can do this.'

'You're the man, Paddy!'

'I'm the man.'

'You're crazy, Paddy!'

'I'm cra- Hey!'

James chuckled. He loved it when he could tease his best friend that easy. Then, he sighed. Today was the day. At least, for Sirius. Today, he'd finally admit his love for their wolfish friend, the fifteen-years-old boy named Remus Lupin. James already knew from the very beginning that Sirius was in love with him. He could see it in everything Sirius did. He'd act frankly weird around him: he'd let something fall out of his hands when Remus passed, during the meals he tried to "accidently" stroke over his hand, he'd turn red whenever Remus looked at him in his oh-so-Remus-looking way… Yeah, love…

'Oh, no no no no no…'

'What? What's up, Paddy?'

'I- He- I can't do this, Prongs, I'm not the man. He probably isn't even gay.'

'Does _he_ know you're gay?'

'No… Not yet, I'm about to tell him, remember?'

'So, what if it's the same matter with him? That he is gay, but that he hasn't told you?'

'Do you think so?'

James looked at him and thought for a while.

'I don't know. Maybe not.'

'James!'

'What? I was just trying to cheer you up!'

'Well, you gloriously failed.'

Another sigh, this time from Sirius. He was sure Remus didn't fall on blokes like him. But, he had to tell him. From his second year already, he knew there was something more than friendship passing between them. James was his best friend whom he could tell everything, Peter was his stubborn appendix he tried to shake off but Remus… They'd always had a special band. Whenever Remus or Sirius got scared at night, they'd slip out of their beds and find warmth underneath each other's sheets. Whenever there were troubles with Remus' werewolf-being or Sirius' family, they'd find comfort in each other. And whenever Sirius needed a listening ear, Remus' was always present.

Upon thinking about all the great moments they'd shared in the past, he hadn't heard James' question.

'Sirius!'

'Hmm? What?'

James rolled his eyes.

'You haven't heard a thing of what I said, did you? Thinking of Remus again, about how you're going to tell him you're gay and attracted to him? I thought we'd already set up a plan to which we'd stick?'

'Yeah, I know, but… Oh, just say what you have to say, James.'

'Wow. Okay. I said I was going to leave you alone with your pathetic proposal.'

'What? Why? Where are you going, Prongs?'

'Evans. I just saw her passing the hall, and she obviously needed a man like… Well, like me.'

Sirius choked almost in his laughter.

'Then I wish you good luck, my pal! I don't think she's even slightly interested in a – how did you call yourself? – "man" like you…'

James mumbled some inaudible words, and whispered something like: 'Yeah, hope you choke in your words when you announce it' and 'Just look at yourself, you oaf'. Then he ran after Lily, who desperately tried to shake him off, but failed. Sirius grinned, and took a deep breath. Now it was his time to run after someone.

'Okay, I can do it. I'm perfectly ready for it. I'm the man, and I'm absolutely _not_ crazy. It's going to be good, better, best, and Remus is going to like the idea of being my boyfriend. And if he doesn't… Well, he will. Because I'm Sirius Black, and I'm world's greatest…'


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I'm still just a little girl with little wishes, and that wish is that I can borrow and use the characters of J.K. Rowling in this fiction. So, not mine, I'm afraid…

**Warnings: **Still slash, I fear. SB/RL. So, if you don't like what I do with my poor victims, then please don't read it!

**A/N: **Hmm, the world's greatest what would he be…? Guess you'll see it in this chapter, the chapter I'll write although there hasn't been any reviews yet… Sniff.

'Failure. I'm a failure, James. I even couldn't bring up the courage to knock on that door, and say…'

'Say what?'

They turned so quickly they almost tripled over their own feet, just to see Remus standing in front of them, eyebrow raised.

'Oh! Eh… Remmy! Nice to eh… See you around here!'

Remus frowned.

'But… It's just after dinner time. Then everybody's around.'

'Oh yeah. True. Forgotten…'

Sirius grinned nervously, while Remus frowned a bit suspiciously. He looked cute doing it, Sirius thought. Oh, no! He couldn't think of him _now_, not in front of all the other pupils! What if he'd say something stupid, like…

'So eh… You like dinner?'

After he shot a strange look at James, Remus turned back to Sirius and shook his head, while laughing. Sirius knew what he was thinking: that was the most stupid question ever. No, there were questions that were even worse, like the next thing that rolled out of Sirius' mouth.

'Well, I mean, if you didn't like dinner, you wouldn't have come, would you?'

'Eh… Even then I'd come, Sirius. I don't like to starve…'

Mentally, Sirius slapped his head and he closed his eyes for a second. Bright thoughts, he must have some bright thoughts in that dark cave that was called 'his brains'…? Suddenly, Remus clear voice woke him up from his thinking.

'And you like sleeping, don't you?'

'What do you mean?'

'Otherwise, you wouldn't be sleeping in the hallway.'

Sirius frowned and Remus rolled his eyes.

'Your eyes. They were still shut… Oh, never mind.'

He smiled his little irritation away, lifted his hand as a greet to Sirius and James and walked away, leaving an astonished Sirius behind.

'Where does he think he's going?'

'Sirius!'

'What?'

'He just said it a few seconds ago, while your eyes were closed.'

'Yeah, and where is he going…?'

'To the library, like always. You still have to ask?'

'Who knows, maybe he has a different planning by now…'

'He always goes to the library after dinner, and knowing Remus, that won't change until he's too old and ill to walk towards it.'

'But… Why does he go to the library?'

'Eh… To read books, perhaps?'

'Books. Who reads books? They're so boring! And besides, just after dinner… I'm getting sick in his place.'

'I thought you liked Remus?'

'Yes, I do. But I don't like it he thinks books are more important than I am.'

'Who says he thinks so?'

'I do. Otherwise, he'd stick around.'

'But… You haven't told him how you feel about him yet. That's why he doesn't stay around with you like some sticky fly…'

'Yeah, shut up. I'm going to find him and tell him how I feel.'

'Good luck, mate!'


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I think you guys know by now that I'm not the one who invented Harry Potter and all its lovely characters… So, I don't have to say again that they don't belong to me. *Sits in a small corner, crying and screaming "Why?"*

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the reviews, and I'm sorry it took a few days. This week, I'm going to be in the middle of my exams, so…

'I don't get it. Why can't you just go and confess your love?'

'I just… Can't, James. I tried it for a hundred times, and still… The words get screwed up in my mind and then they come out twisted… Besides, Remus wouldn't understand.'

'Well, I think the only thing he won't understand, is why you're avoiding him so much.'

'… Is it so clear?'

'Sirius, you just ran out of his room a few minutes ago, muttering swearwords and completely flushed. So yeah, it's quite clear.'

'Do you think he's suspicious?'

'Well, he'll never guess what's the real reason you're avoiding him, so… For now, you're still safe. At least, if he doesn't come and asks you why you are running away every time you see him…'

Sirius sighed. 'Boy, I really don't want _that_ to happen…'

'Well then, go back to face him and be a man!'

'Whatever you say, James…'

Sirius swallowed when he reached the dormitories. This was the place where he had just ran away from Remus, who had watched him disappear in confusion. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Remus soft and gentle voice sounded.

'Come in!'

Sirius slowly opened the door, and saw Remus sitting on his bed, a thick book in his lap. He cleared his throat.

'So eh… What're you doing?'

'Reading… Like always, Sirius.'

'Ah…'

It remained silent, and Remus streaked some of his bangs out of his golden eyes, watching Sirius suspiciously. He acted… Weird.

'Why don't you take a seat?' he asked to break the ice.

'Oh yeah,' Sirius grinned nervously, before letting himself flop on the hard, wooden floor. Remus raised an eyebrow.

'Eh… Why don't you sit on a chair or a bed?'

Sirius opened his mouth and tried to find an explanation for his stupid action, but concluded just to smile, get up, walk towards Remus and take a seat next to him on the bed. He was becoming hot and sweaty. Would Remus notice the warmth in the room?

'Oh, this is so much softer for my poor little butt!'

Remus laughed. 'Yeah, I think that poor little butt has suffered enough for today, or rather for a whole year!' Sirius frowned. 'What do you mean?' he asked, wondering.

'Well, this morning in the Great Hall, when you wanted to take a seat, you missed your chair and toppled over on the ground when I greeted you. Then, during Potions, you bumped into the closet with ingredients when I asked you which colour the mixture had to have. Later that noon, when classes were over, you stumbled over your own feet and fell on your ass, when I… Hey, wait a second… All those things happened when I said something to you… Are you…'

Sirius bit his lip. This was it. The moment where Remus would find out his burning love for him, and where Sirius had to reveal everything. This… Was the moment of truth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I think you get it by now. In case you didn't, I think you need or glasses, or some lessons in English. Not mine.

**A/N: **God… Do I even dare to show up here again? It's been two whole YEARS since I last updated this story! Man, the spelling mistakes I made back then… Just horrible! I hope there are still readers, even though it's been such a long, long time! But… Moment of truth, hmm? Let's find out if Remus had the same thought as Sirius…

'Are you trying to avoid me for that? Because I only cause you a sore butt? Well, I assure you, I won't say a thing anymore whenever your ass can possibly be in danger. Trust me.'

He smiled reassuringly, and Sirius felt hugely relieved. Now he could still postpone that awkward moment for a while. He sighed. He could praise himself lucky that Remus wasn't very suspicious.

'Eh, yeah. Of course that's the reason. What other reason could there be, aha… Thanks for understanding,' he mumbled. Remus smiled again. 'Poor butt,' he said with a grin. 'Suffered so much pain… If it wasn't that particular place that hurt, I'd give a kiss on it.'

Sirius' heart skipped a beat. He would've liked it if Remus had kissed it, he knew that for sure. His nervous laughter sounded. 'Yeah, that's the least thing you could do to ease the pain…' Remus chuckled, but then his expression softened.

'Perhaps I'm not allowed to give you a kiss on _that_ place, but then I'd like to excuse me with a kiss somewhere else. If you'd allow me?' Without waiting for a reply, Remus bent over and gave a soft kiss on Sirius' cheek. Then he smiled one last time and walked out of the dormitory, leaving an astonished Sirius behind on the bed. This last one blinked twice and raised his hand to touch the place where Remus had kissed him. It still felt warm, and when Sirius closed his eyes for a while, he could still feel Remus' lips on his cheek…

He swallowed. If there existed a perfect moment to tell his feelings, well, then it would've been this, and he had just let it come to an end without even waving at it as it passed by. Then perhaps it was now time for action…?

The next thing he remembered doing, was that he got his lazy and still aching butt off of Remus' bed and sprinted out of the dormitories, nearly knocking over a confused Peter who was just about to enter them. 'Hey!' this last one brought out indignantly, at which Sirius murmured a quick 'Sorry!' before continuing his pursuit. If he were Remus, where would he go to…? Ah, the library of course!

He quickly ran in the direction of the Room That Should Never Be Entered and threw the heavy doors open, scanning every table and bookshelf. At long last, his eye fell on his dear friend, and he happily shouted: 'Remus!' This action earned him a few dozens of angry looks, though, so he grinned apologetically and quietly made his way towards the object of his desires.

Remus was eying him rather surprised. 'Sirius?' he asked softly as not to disturb the other pupils. 'Did a miracle just happen, or did you fall on your head this time? You do realise that you're actually standing in the _library_, right?' Sirius laughed nervously. 'I know, isn't that awkward? I still don't get why people would actually come to this horrible place where there are _books_ and _manuals_, but, well… I've come to tell you something.'

Remus cocked his head to the side. 'Oh?' he asked. 'Right here? And right now? Why couldn't you have said it when I was with you in the dormitories?' Sirius ground his teeth, trying not to say that he couldn't possibly have said it then because he was too dazed by Remus' previous action, namely kissing him.

'Doesn't matter,' he muttered. 'I just… Want to tell you now. Can I?' Remus shrugged in allowance. 'Sure. Go ahead,' he said, not in the least understanding what hell Sirius was going through at the moment. The raven cleared his throat. 'Well, eh, I know it's going to sound rather strange, but… I… I like you, Remus. I really do.'

Remus remained silent for a while, looking at his friend. Sirius could almost see the question mark burning behind his eyes, and he did his best not to turn red. Then, Remus suddenly burst out in uncontrollable laughter, making Sirius jump and other pupils glare angrily at the two of them.

'You came all the way here to tell me that you like me?' Remus questioned, wiping away some tears of laughter. 'You idiot! I know you like me! And I hope you also know that I like you too!' Sirius' heart fluttered for a moment. 'You do?' he asked with a hopeful voice. Remus smiled at him in a nearly angelic way. 'Of course I do, you big dope. You're my best friend, just like James and Peter! Why shouldn't I like you?'

Sirius' heart dropped again. 'Oh,' he muttered, trying to sound as casual as possible while every nerve in his body wanted to shake some sense into Remus to make him understand. And then everyone said that _he_ was dim-witted? Remus was a lot worse!

'Well, but, what I'm trying to say is…' he started again, but his voice faltered. He sighed in defeat. 'Man, this is a lot harder than I thought,' he mumbled. Remus didn't seem to have understood him, so he gathered all his courage and tried again.

'Okay, Remus. This is going to be a long explanation, but you must bear with me. I just feel that I must tell you how I feel. I've been feeling these strange feelings for quite a long time without feeling comfortable while feeling them, so I felt that, if I just told you about the feelings I felt, I'd feel better about them. I certainly hope that you feel the way I feel so that my feelings won't get hurt, but you know, if you don't feel like telling me how you feel, that's okay with me too. I just felt that you had to know how I felt, so I can finally come to terms with my feelings and feel better afterwards.'

After he had blurted this out, Sirius looked at Remus. The latter was just gazing at him, a confused look in his eyes. Carefully, Sirius added: 'Did you catch that?' Remus raised an inquisitive eyebrow. 'Well, I believe you were talking about feelings or something. Just a guess.'

Sirius cried out exasperatedly, causing some now really angry pupils to snarl 'Hey!' or 'Shut your big mouth!' at him, but he couldn't care less. There was just no way he'd ever be able to get his feelings across to Remus if he tried to carefully tell him. So, he just decided on the most blunt way he could imagine and shouted as loud as possible through the library: 'Remus, don't you get it? I love you! I LOVE YOU!'

The silence that followed made Sirius understand what he had just done. And it made him understand as well that he had better sunk through the ground in shame.


End file.
